Sunday, June 20, 2010

Ready, fire... aim?!

Bethenny Getting Married - Photos - Episode 2: In-Laws We Trust | Bravo TV Official Site I'll right, another confession: I am on Team Bethenny. She's an absolute riot and is my favorite of the New York Housewives. And now, as everyone knows, she has her own show (is that question mark 'hostile punctuation'?) and this past week, she and her fiance trooped over to Bloomingdale's 59th St. to complete their wedding registry. However, I was a little skeptical of the choice (we all judge...). With New York City at her doorstep and so many interesting places to register, she chose a run-of-the-mill department store. The show then follows the couple as they enter the wedding registry department and meet their consultant. And then they were off with the gun to "shoot" their registry. It occurred to me that a lot of couples go through this ritual without really thinking about how they want to live or entertain. One segment had them discussing the merits of registering for matching coffee cups and saucers, and clearly, they were on different pages. It is a bit strange to think about parties with "fantasy friends" who may use the things that you think you may need at some point in the future, and the telling remark that she made was "...and where are we going to put all of this?"
Registries are great. They help couples furnish their homes and help guests who want to buy something the couples actually want. Or think they want. There is a whole conversation that rarely happens as to how and why couples choose what they choose. Many are handed the gun, and it's "ready, fire, aim". Taking "aim" before choosing dishes, silver, glassware, etc., will help make these decisions easier, and more reflective of the couple rather than the consultant or the best friend/mother. I know, I've been that "friend". Searching for patterns and pieces that you will love for the long haul takes time, and if you go to a department store, which seems like a great idea, you are actually limiting your choices as to what will define you as a couple for hopefully a very long time. You are at the mercy of the buyer who has made the major decisions for you and narrowed the field to what they think are "popular". Many times, these choices may be perfect. I think Bethenny really likes her Monique Lhuillier Dentelle china she and Jason picked out. But make sure it's your choice, not the department store buyer's. Think how you live now, and how you will want to live with your new spouse. If your table has only four chairs and you live in a studio with no storage, don't request a service for 12 thinking that one day you will have the huge formal dining room with a refectory table. You can add to your set later with matching dishes, or complement your set with a different pattern. There is no law saying everything must match. That way, you won't be tripping over boxes of unwrapped wedding gifts that aren't being used. And that's the point of all this: using them. And, if you can take a little time to find the right patterns that speak to you and reflect you as a couple, you will use them a lot!

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